i was having a conversation with #oneofmyfollowers about what a woman should be for a man and vice versa, and biblical reference aside, my opinion rests that a woman is a man’s rib. in return we’re allowed the comfort and protection of his body. and, i stand by that deduction.

why? because in the present-day sense, it cuts down on unrealistic expectations and the countervailing heaux shit sure to follow if they aren’t met. go figure how history mirrors reality.

gender roles in our society, heterosexually speaking, are very simple. i’m a woman. you’re a man. among other things, you take out the trash, get dirt under your nails, and occasionally open an unruly, air-tight pickle jar that won’t seem to budge despite my most ardent attempt at womanly strength.

so, BE THAT.

i’m not quite sure what emotional bug bit the men of our culture, but it’s keeping them from playing their position, and as a professional woman of husband-seeking age, i’m not sure if i’m okay with that.  

i blame the “independents”.

yes ladies and gents, those “independent women” who run around tauting their ability to take care of themselves and yapping about how they don’t need a man have effectively fucked it up for us all.

honey, keep it cute.

LITERALLY speaking, no, i don’t necessarily need a man. i have my own money and do very well with it, if i may say so myself. but, i’ll be the first one to tell you that on date #1, i will not touch the check. hell, i won’t even glance, flinch or send a smoke signal that it has reached the table. cheers.

the problem lies where there is an expectation that i would. this independent-women, “let’s-go-dutch”, ”i-can-act-trifling-because-she-won’t-find-anyone-better” culture has disenchanted men from doing what they should and realizing that women are appreciative of it. in fact, it is downright attractive when one does because so many men fail to even come close.

simply stated: just do the things that make you a desirable man. 

open the door, hold out the seat, send the unexpected flowers and the “just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful” texts. and what do you get in return? if you win enough books, you’ll have gained a woman that cooks, cleans, is supportive, spontaneous, family-oriented, a lady in public who occassionaly picks up the tab, and all that jazz (obligatory winking-smiley face) in private.

i don’t see a reason to compromise (read: settle) on these qualities, no matter how far along in the relationship we are, or how pissed he is about the argument we had over a touchy-feely colleague at happy hour last night. but even so, a comment from a male friend intrigued me:

“i’m spoiled, so she’ll have to put up with a lot of my bullshit. i can’t deal with [women] who are too sensitive.”

interesting. and bullshit.

as women, i think a lot of us are inclined to cater to our lovers, boyfriends, and husbands despite their misgivings. (generally, it’s a product of the misogynist society in which we live.) BUT… how much is too much?

is a wavering level of communication tolerable? can you deal with the intensity abruptly falling from a boil to a low simmer? is cheating okay? lying? does making a compromise imply you won’t leave?

don’t be so afraid of not having any options that you choose the worst one, just because it’s there.

#lessonoftheday: play your position or someone else will.

just go there. this needs no explanation whatsoever.

i was originally inclined not to address this, but you’ve judged me already, so f*ck it right? right. (with your fat ass).

posted opinion:

learned fact:

submersion is not a good look for women + sex. it just isn’t. water. jello. honey. whatever. stop it.

i won’t say water in general is a bad thing (showers are awesome)….but:

anatomically, submersion in a liquid substance (i’ll keep it generic) impedes the naturally occurring lubrication that you fellows desire. so let’s recap: no lubrication = friction. friction + condoms? babies.

lesson: stop it.

(inspired by @thewillbrennan & @nohalfwaycrooks. follow them.)

my boyfriend put me on to afro samurai a while ago, and it’s the epitome of freshness in a quentin tarantino kind of way for those of you who haven’t seen the critically acclaimed cartoon. it’s definitely TV-MA and features voicing by samuel l. jackson, but by this point it has a cult following and its own video game, so i can’t say it’s unknown.

i can say the RZA does excellent score production for the hit series, and you get a taste of it, along with input from other living legends on this:

01. The Rza And P. Dot – Combat (Afro Season II Open Theme) 2:50
02. Kool G Rap, Inspectah Deck And Suga Bang – You Already Know 2:48
03. Reverand William Burks, Sly Stone And Stone Mecca – Blood 3:33
Thicker Than Mud (Family Affair)
04. Kool G Rap, Ghostface Killah, Tash Mahogany And The Rza – 4:25
Whar
05. Rah Digga And Stone Mecca – Girl Samurai Lullaby 3:21
06. Thea Van Seijen – Fight For You 2:01
07. Rah Digga – Bitch Gonna Get Ya 3:37
08. Prodigal Sunn And Thea Van Seijen – Bloody Days Bloody 1:47
Nights
09. Rugged Monk – Kill Kill Kill 2:44
10. Boy Jones – Nappy Afro 3:36
11. Black Knights, Dexter Wiggles And Thea Van Seijen – Bloody 3:34
Samurai
12. Killa Priest, Prodigal Sunn And Shavo – Dead Birds 2:22
13. Ace And Moe Roc – Arch Nemesis 2:48
14. Reverand William Burks, The Rza And Infinite – Brother’s 3:42
Keeper
15. Ace And Moe Roc – Yellow Jackets 3:04
16. 60 Second Assassin, Leggezin, Crisi, Christ Bearer And 10:50
Bobby Digital – Take The Sword Pt. III
17. The Rza And 9th Prince – Number One Samurai (Afro Season II 2:56
Outro)

DOWNLOAD

rapidshare

…enjoy!

I debated on whether I was going to put this video up yesterday after spotting it over on Tha Feedback. Aside from the random tits and azz that was inserted in the video, I just knew my girls would enjoy the 5 seconds that was Nelly. Even if he didn’t take his shirt off…

there really is a random amount of naked hoochie in this video. what’s funny is that the youtube version of this is edited a bit darker to half-heartedly shield the t & a. i’m sure if it wasn’t for youtube’s terms of use they wouldn’t have even done that. *smh.. she’s not really necessary to me but i guess there has to be an incentive for men to watch the video, too.

though i’m still chuckling to myself about nelly being in this video (aka the almighty tip drill, shameless-naked-chicks-in-video originator) how appropriate.

even more hilarious is that bow wow actually, dare i say, comes hard on this. i thought this day would never come. …eh, what am i saying? a powerhouse group like this wouldn’t have left his verse on the track if he didn’t, whether j.d.’s his mentor or not.

enjoy.

ocean’s 7 feat. bow wow – “so much swagg” (UNCENSORED)

Edited by K. Thomas

as long as man has existed, a modicum of truth lies within sex as equated to carnal hunger. men long to pique the flame of women’s innermost desires and sate themselves in the process, and for the sake of argument, women are just as pleased with offering men (and themselves) the same gratification. sigmund freud describes these latent desires as eros, the sexual drive opposite of man’s desire for death and destruction (thanatos), but how does the average person control these desires and remove the will and temptation for sexual encounters?

societal constraints, of course.

religious doctrine, government regulation, social condemnation–all hundred, perhaps thousand-year-old methods to deter the average individual from getting their perpetual “freak” on.

in present day, discrepancies in the number of sexual partners that is socially accepted to be attained by men versus that of women is an age old argument, and creates a schism between the sexes for a double standard many are upset about.

how much is too much for a man? a woman? what about using sexual prowess for gain (gold-digging), or glory (upward mobility in a company)?

where do you draw the line? speak on it.

for years black americans have been on a path to the meticulous self-destruction of their undeniable african roots. madam c.j. walker introduced a method to straighten their naturally kinky hair. bleaching creams are in wide, albiet unsaid, use around the united states and the caribbean by blacks seeking acceptance of a whiter standard of beauty. all this we know. but what exactly is the driving force behind this self-deprecation?

the examples are everywhere in urban culture. the perceived exoticism of a lighter skin tone mixed with the traditionally supple features of the black woman seem to drive brothers wild. add variables of unusual eye color, long shining hair, and a curvaciously toned body to the equation and you’ve created the bonafide epitomy of the present black man’s dream.

artist trey songz describes it in an impromptu mixtape verse:

“i like ‘em long haired, red boned, thick with them legs long [...]“,

a standard many women by no “fault” of their own, fail to live up to. so, where are darker skinned women left in the spectrum of beauty, and beyond that: acceptance? comments by fellow celebrities young berg and ne-yo in the past year about the attractiveness of “dark butts” and the potential for more attractive children sired on light-to-white women echo the sentiment of a new breed man, one insensitive to unique cultural beauties.

blacklisted magazine explored the effect of these standards of beauty, mirrored in the lives of university of florida students and their perception of their fellow classmate. in titletown queens, almost 100% of black or minority men chose women with light to medium skin tones and long hair as the accepted beauty norm, only afterwards considering personality traits and professionalism. in titletown kings, the highest consensus held a light-skinned brother as the most attractive man to walk the campus.

blogger and titletown queens creater, ATG, confided in me later that he prefers darker women, and if anything was gained from our conversation, it’s that everyone is entitled to their own personal opinion.

but what we’ve learned delves deeper than that. while we certainly understand everyone has the potential to be attracted to something different, the titletown rivalries proved that selectivity to the point of brutality and insensitivity, in some minds, is acceptable.

unfortunately, the powers that be of cultural normalcy aren’t telling our young blacks any different, and therein lies the rub.

fittingly, viral video has been one of them, and with youtube dominating the market, everyone including the creators of  facebook and others has been trying to get a piece of the action.

as testament to how powerful social networking has become, it’s all too ironic that i came across ustream by following soulja boy tell ‘em on twitter.

some would say “following” a teenager hell-bent on throwing hundred dollar bills around his hotel room in itself is a waste of precious seconds in a grown woman’s life, but there’s a point to it, and soulja boy makes a big one.

ustream offers anyone the chance to stream live video feeds, collaborate in video chats and broadcast webcasts across the internet.

anyone.

not just your NBC’s and CBS’, but anyone with a camera and a usb cord. what’s more is that it integrates with famed social networking fads, facebook & twitter, and posts viewers’ video chat comments to their twitter homepage, all while alerting the streamer’s facebook friends that he or she just started taping a new video.

it’s a well-oiled machine, and if the layman reader hasn’t figured it out yet, business majors, please tell me what this equates to. i’ll wait.

…that’s right. free advertising.

ustream’s marketing potential is MOMENTOUS. if soulja boy streams on its server, at surface level, thousands of twitter users are jumping at their chance to talk to a real life celebrity, in real time.

“no way, he just gave me a shoutout!”

“oh my gosh, becky, soulja boy is on ustream live from backstage at his concert!”

this means, as a result of his popularity as an artist, potentially thousands of people are typing his name online as a key word.

a watershed of events will now quickly occur: “soulja boy tell ‘em” will become one of twitter’s trending topics (for non-users, one of the most-used keywords in the twitterverse), and people who weren’t once savvy to who soulja boy tell ‘em is, will be now.

it spawns millions of search engine hits, webpage views, and possibly products bought. which = $$$. even the tags i’ll place on this blog post have the potential to continue making him millions of dollars.

what’s more is that ustream’s functionality is like that of youtube, only on cocaine.

not only can you stream live in a webchat, but you can record what you’re taping for viewing later. thus, you not only have users visiting your ustream page to see you live, you also could potentially draw users to view older videos, the latter of which youtube is limited to.

so for all of you hip-hop enthusiasts who, in your better judgment, shun soulja boy to the pits of hell as the worst artist to ever infiltrate urban culture (and i might generally agree with you), dude might be a marketing genius, and i’m sure he’s laughing at you all the way to the bank.

((register for a ustream account at: http://www.ustream.tv))

if you haven’t been checking out nemo da fishman’s blogspot, start now. hilarity is always liable to ensue… at which point this topic arose: who, pray tell, are the baddest women at the University of Florida?

now while the comments on this topic are hilarious (imo), an issue arose: why does it seem that we women would hate on the man-table of discussion when we weren’t involved in the conversation?

who know’s, but, i’m willing to do a little experiment and do this the other way around. so UF ladies: who are the “baddest” men to attend our beloved university?

let the games begin….

**DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTS TO THIS TOPIC AND VIEWS THEREIN ARE NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE VIEWS OF THIS BLOG, ITS OWNER, OR HOST DOMAIN. ORIGINAL LOGO A TRADEMARK OF THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA. THANK YOU.**

((mr. v))

the first of which is my colleague at UF and i’ve interviewed him several times, had a jam session with him, and all around just admire his many talents.

mr. v’s blogspot exposes his muses, and it’s pretty hot. i follow vanityiscool on a regular basis, and i urge you to do the same. i always find it pretty refreshing to look through someone else’s eyes at the world, and his vantage point is an interesting one.

altogether this dude is just holistically killing the game right now, so you know its not just with music. his photography skills are immaculate! (hit him up on twitter if you’re interested in a shoot, btw).. i won’t be surprised when i see him on the national stage in the near future so look out.

(LBHG photography, all rights reserved)

((joe clark))

the second of these two who i’ll introduce is joe clark.

i first got put on to this dude randomly on twitter. ironically, we had a gang of mutual friends and i decided to poke around his myspace to check out his style… needless to say he comes with it, so i had to give him his due props. i might get at him for an interview in blacklisted magazine so ya’ll can get to know him a little better, so be looking out for that.

in the meantime, he’s on vimeo. so check out his latest vids and subscribe to his page through RSS. in the meantime i will make a move in the same vein of my home boy Nemo da fishman and drop one of my particular faves for your viewing pleasure:

JOE CLARK: Be By Myself FREESTYLE from IAMJOECLARK.COM on Vimeo.

big ups.